MVMT

Once upon a time, I would fall in love at the drop of a hat. Some witty banter, and I was yours. A simple look in my direction, and I was totally floored; my heart would jump into my throat and plummet to my toes and fly back into my ribcage... and I hated it. I hated this crazy feeling that always left me drained and tired. I just wanted to be a robot and not feel anything ever. I would try so hard, and I failed every time.

But, it is with a mixture of pleasure and a nostalgic grief that I realize I am finally what I always wanted to be. Not that I don't feel the movement of the heart; I feel it every time I listen to Explosions in the Sky or M83, but it's been a long time since a physical being moved me in that way, to the point where I'm not sure I'm capable of it anymore. I'm not sure if I even care to ever, except on these cold nights as I walk up Broadway with the Empire State building off in the distance, and even on those nights, I'm OK, because I'm here.

This entry was posted by Soma, on 28.10.08. You can leave your response.